"Seriously, what's wrong with me sitting down with him tonight and saying. You have two choices. "Get help" or "Get out". I can't take it anymore!"
That's why you have to read ALL of DB. I get that you're frustrated, but I can tell you that I don't recall a situation on here where giving the WAS an ultimatum resulted in them staying.
You concentrate so much on your H and what you perceive is an MLC but you've never posted about your relationship with him. It sounded like maybe you treated him like a child because you kept "taking care" of things. Maybe there were times that he wanted to step up but you decided to do it yourself thinking that he would do it wrong.
Think back. What were the things that the two of you would argue about? What problems in the M were caused by you in your opinion or maybe miscommunicated? It sounds like you're the type who has to be in control and always have a plan. You are going to need to have patience if your end goal is to save your M.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
