Title to be determined later .....

[AndrewP]

Thank you ciluzen:

I had not thought of it that way. I will just wait and see what happens. I have spoken to a lawyer in preparation for him filing.

And yes .. I do realize that I have issues as well. I really need to focus on myself, but my mind keeps going back to him. It is just too new. I still sleep on my side of the bed, I have not put in any clothes in his empty dresser, and his side of the sink / towel racks are still empty. I know I am in for the a long haul (if he ever returns) and I cannot seem to make any changes. The only thing I have done is taken down all his photos and put away anything about us as a couple.

AmyTx - I know this struggle very well. When W moved out I started doing a purge of her stuff from the house packing it up in boxes in the front porch expecting her to pick them up the next day. That was 3 months ago and they are still there. I sobbed for 10 straight minutes when I took our wedding photo off of my desk.

But you know what - it got better. I've removed W's stuff from most of the rooms I use. I still have family pictures up on the wall and on the piano. The dressers that W used are still empty but I moved some of my clothes into her closet about a month ago. After about a month (I think) I put our wedding photo back on my desk and smiled.

She's not here. I'm not preserving the house as a shrine to her. She may never come back. But in my heart she's still my wife and part of my family. Along with our children we made this house a home.

The day-to-day parts of the house are "mine". The bathroom which I renovated to be used by 4 people is now set up for 1. Things in the kitchen are where they are handy for me which is largely where they've always been for the last 26 years. In the morning when I wake up on my side of the bed I still carefully fold the covers over only on "my" side. I do have to watch some bad habits I've formed like not bothering to close the bathroom doors (the cats sometimes watch and I feel like they "judge" - lol)

You'll make your home yours in your own way in time just like I have in mine. My advice to you though - don't rush it. It's part of the grieving process. Know that certain things will be surprisingly tough and they may well be little things. Even though I could have gone through the house in a few days and stripped it down I only did a bit at a time and stopped when I got too stressed out. I have a pretty big house and there's parts of it that I may never go through as long as I'm standing and that's fine too.

You're doing fine. The past is part of you and always will be. Treasure the happy bits.