Cherry. He's gone, but the drama has not

[Surfer]

SH

A bit out of order calling PsySara a witch! Crikey!

Surfer

[Surfer]

Only joking I know meant sitch.

Ha ha.

Surfer.

[DDJ]

Hey guys, I have always been one to swim against the tide and I disagree with all of you. Cherry's no good WH is still looking for attention and Cherry is showing enabling behaviour to satisfy his attention seeking.

Your WH, Cherry, is broken, and no amount of texts can fix a broken man. Only he can help himself, with the grace of God. And if he decides to take his life, you need to be prepared for it. You cannot see the world through someone elses eyes, you cannot feel their pain, you are not them. My last 2c.

[Cherry]

I get that there could be a possibility that he's just looking for attention, but like you say he is broken, I know I can't fix him. But nor could I sit back and shrug it off like it's nothing, in case it is a genuine cry for help.

[Cherry]

Still haven't heard anything. Trying to not go into panic mode, as I know that won't serve me any favours. Kept myself busy, and took sometime to sit and enjoy feeling my baby kicking.

I know it's a bit of a tricky situation. I mean he has got our attention, and the tricky part is there is no knowing wether this is a genuine cry for attention or a manipulation technique. And it's a big gamble to just detach and leave him to it. I do have a question though, I'm not focussed on this, but just something I've been thinking, IF this is some kind of manipulation technique, what would a wayward gain from it? Temp check?

Got some plans to meet up with a friend. Trying to remember to take care of me in this time.

[Painter]

Cherry, did the police or your doctor refuse to do anything even with the recording? I would contact them, ask them for the supervisor's name, and let them know that I will get back to them if something happens to him and they refused to act. The intent of acting on it so soon and on a specific day should warrant action.

I can only imagine how you feel...

[Ginger1]

What's his mom doing about all of this?

[PsySara]

Things must be different there in the UK. Here in the states if someone calls the authorities and says a relative/friend is espousing suicidal ideation then the person is taken in for a 72 hour hold. I've had patient stell me point blank to my face they never said they were suicidal just to have a note/recording/text/facebook post shown to me. We take a better safe than sorry approach to suicidal ideation here.

If your WH is doing this as a manipulation technique then he is most likely still crying out for help. Temp checking? It's possible but it would be far more effective to just ask you or text you. Regardless he sounds profoundly lost and depressed and needs help. Like I said, toss in the life preserver but don't swim in.

[Cherry]

Painter, yep it got shrugged off by the police. They dropped it as soon as he told them he "was fine". They didn't get back in contact and when I spoke with them they said they take his word and let that be that. I spoke with the community mental health team, they filed a report to the police to revisit as they have concerns for his welfare. I explained all to social services who would arrange for a mental health assessment and they said contact a doctor! It is stressful as I feel like I'm just getting a door closed every time I try the correct channels and authorities.

Ginger, she too is going out of her mind sending texts, calling, leaving voicemails. We both are ringing around trying to get the urgent help he needs. Part of the problem is he isn't willing to get help.

[Surfer]

Escalation is a good idea above. I would not actually speak to his supervisor. I would speak to the same policeman/woman. I would say I still have concerns and either you can create a plan of action that I am satisfied with or I will speak to your chief superintendent (find out their name and name them during the call) and I will ask for someone else that is able or willing to do this. You will get a reaction then I expect. If not you follow through with your plan.

Explain your circumstances too, child, heavily pregnant, H depression, separation etc and ask for a record of your discussions. Tie in MIL so you have a witness to discussions and make sure they are aware of this.

Surfer.