I guess the acceptance that I've been fired has to come before the detachment. I'm new at this and really do want to save my family, but she is already more than half way out the door.
Read the homework. I get you are reeling here ... been there, don't that, have the T-shirt. You can not save the M at this moment, the best you can do is hold up your end of the deal and she will do what she will do, that's on her, her choice and nothing you can control. She will make many poor choices while in crisis just know this and expect nothing.
The common thing in this is FEAR, that is what you need to tackle first... its the gateway to acceptance and detachment. You are afraid and that's completely normal. Do not allow fear to keep you stuck for long ... sometimes it will transform into anger and you can use that to propel you towards acceptance and detachment, just do not live there.
