My impression is that most spouses who leave won't admit there is even a theoretical possibility of coming back.
ForGump - I'm not sure of that. Each situation is different as are the reasons for the spouse to leave. A "walk-away-wife" certainly is determined to be gone and never come back. A wayward may be just a spoiled brat who feels that they can do whatever they want but still have a safe return. In my MLC case, my W is (I believe) lost and confused about what she actually wants. In my case - which is not the case for everyone - my W has never talked about D and only talked about a long term relationship with OM in the most general terms. How they feel and what they say in the heat of the moment may not be the way they feel later. I think it's even in the "rules" to believe none of what they say and only 1/2 what they do.
As they used to say in the advertisements "your milage may vary". I have read here and other places of each "type" of spouse coming back. Quite a few don't but some do.
Originally Posted By: lostasf
It was a decent weekend until all of that unfolded. I'm so disappointed in my so called "friend". Now it will be very awkward that it will be a strictly professional-like relationship with the neighbor.
lostasf - we all "screw up" in some fashion at some point. Don't take it too hard. In fact you can treat it as a positive in some ways because you don't have to hide like I do. In my neighbourhood there are I believe 3 people that I've talked to at all and they only know that W has left and that I'm distraught. For the rest of the world I feel that I have to put on a bit of an act which is tough when you are hurting inside so badly.
The future of whether your W comes back or not is in the future and is not part of your present. For the present know that around you are very likely people who are kind and sympathetic (as well as the rumour mongers, fire-starters and the just plain useless). Be careful about who you trust and keep things fairly close even when pressed but you no longer have to lie or conceal. If your W does come back, then that is a story that is yet to be told. If you make sure that when you talk about your W to your neighbours that you don't talk her down then very likely while it will be awkward for her to be in that neighbourhood it can be a place of acceptance as well.
Good luck and keep your chin up and chest out. Don't look at what happened as a mistake - it's just a step on the journey.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
