The rush comes from you .... I know its hard to understanding but in DB there is a blip about how this all seems counter-intuitive. She is calm which has you on your heels, you are splashin around desperately wanting to do anything and everything to save your M and this is only going to make her run faster and in her mind validate she was right in wanting out all along.
You asked earlier how long the detach process takes .. its different for everyone, I am one of the ones who struggled with this but over time, I realized grabbing that hot pot on the stove was only hurting me so I slowly stopped grabbing it, then I slowly started not being as concerned about it and had a breaking point where I just walked out of the kitchen.
Standing is a very difficult thing to do, doing so with a MLCr is even harder. Waiting around for her to change her mind is not going to get you through this you have to start looking inward more, work on yourself and slowly put things into place the way you see fit allowing your W to walk her own journey. Accept she is broken and you can not fix her, you can not help fix her ... you can only become a better man from all of this.
