I'd be inclined to not go to any D facilitating sessions, even if not going may make things worse for a short time.

Even if you go doesn't mean you have to agree with a D. I hope others with more experience will chime in on this.

Regarding vacation, part of the DB is "acting as if". So you act like normal and do as you would have normally done... go on the trip with your kids and have fun.

Also hold off on telling them anything.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl