[BrightFuture]

Thanks Sotto, HaWho, FY for your thoughts. Speaking about time and readiness... I need some advice... And encouragement.

Need some advice now, if anybody is reading… As I expected that ar some point the conversation about my new condo at the vacation home and me starying at our joint condo would come up…
Today I sent H his absentee ballot (as he asked me to). I texted him that I sent it. He thanked me. And they I asked the question again about if he is planning to be at the vacation home on certain dates next month (since he didn’t asnswer to this question in my e-mail.) He told me the dates, I thanked him and told that I’m planning to be there when he is not. He came back with the questions “Don’t you have you won condo now? I thought you bough one.”
My reply: “Yes, I bought a condo. It is not quite ready yet, and it is also in rentals for now.” (the meaning of “not ready” is that I don’t have everything set up for my own confort and liking there yet.)
He texted back: “Oh, ok. Was not copletely built or just needs some decorating?”

So, I think he is trying to start a converstaion on this… He know well that the condo is finished and furnished and has been rented. He mgiht or might not know that I was going to put in the rental pool, but he absolutely knows (from my mutual friends) that it was my intent to do it, and that I also wanted to still use our joint condo.

Not sure where is going with this. Whether he really wants me out of that condo, or he feels he needs to address the gossip over there, or he is doing a remp check (this one is very unlikely in my opinion)…

I was kind of preparing for this converstaion at some point, I’m nor ready to discuss it right now (too much stuff to deal with.) I’m debating myself how I should reply to him:
- Through the truth darts and tell him that he needs to deal with the state of affairs first (aka file for D or separation of assets) and then we can talk about me moving out my stuff out of the condo and not using it… after my name is off the mortgage and I’m not responsible for it. This would most likely alienate him.
- Play the same game he is playing, like pretending that I’m not quite understanding what is the issue here and avoid the direct conversation, just keep coming up with excuses why I cannot stay in my new condo.
- Or, completely ignore his last text… Like he used to do right after BD, when I would ask him a direct question and he would not answer at all, I guess because it was uncomfortable…
The bottom line is that I want to avoid the confrontation and still continue to use the joint condo, as I planned. It is convenient for me for now. This could be one of my answers to him. It is just convenient for me, period. I don’t need to give any other explanations. But, it might open a can of worms with the follow up conversation. If he would press, I would tell him that so far he’s been doing what’s convenient for him. Does he want me to just quietly disappear out of his life, without giving him any troubles and without doing any work and having any consequences? Maybe this is what is needed… and something I was talking about in my previous post…

I just don’t feel like I want to deal with this right now. I’m actually thinking to take a couple of days off and go to the vacation home this weekend, because I need to recharge so badly. I’m beyond exhausted. I’m also afraid that if I start throwing the truth darts, I will not be able to keep my mouth shut and make the smart moves. I need to sort my thoughts out.

I welcome any advice and 2x4 as well. I haven’t replied to his last text yet.