NDY, The individual (two names together) that you were referencing earlier was once a poster on this forum and some of her threads are still around. However, because she has her own forum, out of respect for Michele and the work she does, we do not reference other sites or provide links to such sites on Michele's forums.
As for your wife going from replay to depression...nope. She was already in depression when she hit the first stage. In fact, the depression had already begun 18-24 months prior to the bomb drop. The stages aren't linear. They can bounce from denial, anger replay depression and withdrawal and back again. Acceptance is the only stage whereby they actually begin to wake up and sometimes fight tooth and nail to come out the other side and then if they return home, it takes another 18-24 months for them to feel comfortable in their own skin and under the same roof w/their spouse again.
Depression is the main ingredient of a MLC, i.e., they go hand and hand for both men and women. The stage of depression that is referenced all over the place is the very deep, dark depression and they tend to really look awful during that time as well as withdraw from the things that they use to do and/or like.
Again, the stages aren't linear and replay will take as long as it takes to work thru. Sometimes this is the longest running stage of them all. The stages and timelines that my friend referenced are guidelines only. Each person is unique and so shall each crisis be unique. Some are shorter, others are longer and then there are those that remain stuck.
