Dear SD, it is a marathon, not a sprint, and whatever happens, it is going to take time. You should axe the expectations, but do hold on to hope. I suggest you lookup Sandi's list and have it laminated and reread it daily. It is a good thing you stumbled onto this forum, you have found just about the greatest bunch of people that you can count on. The help from the vets (veterans - the people that have been in your shoes for years)is awesome. A lot of the stuff you are going to hear is counter intuitive, but it does produce a result. Sadly I have yet to meet a newbie who follows the advice. Everybody seems to know best. But that's OK. You will "get the lesson" when you are supposed to.
As others have said, take your mind off your W and let her do her stuff, she has to do what she thinks she has to do and there really is no point in trying to change her mind. She has to come to the realization herself.
As for your love, you have to shelf that feeling on a shelf in the waaaaaaay back of the garage somewhere, because this feeling is only causing you hurt.
As others have said, go out, have a plan, get a life (GAL). You will be temped to date,to ease the pain, resist the urge, you have some big time healing to to...
Try to stop snooping (don't now if you are), not knowing helps, because you cannot unsee the stuff you see.
I know it does not even remotely look like it, but this can be a real blessing in disguise. It is a time for you to shine, to reinvent yourself, to become the best man/person/dad you can be. It sure was the case in my situation.
