Well I come home today and notice an old red shoe box in my garage. Made the mistake of opening it. It was all of the old love letters and pics from my wife when we were dating. 25 years and longer ago. Sitting here crying like a baby now. We were so young and in love. I don't understand where we went wrong. I still love her even more now than I did then. Why doesn't she feel the same?
Dear SD, it is a marathon, not a sprint, and whatever happens, it is going to take time. You should axe the expectations, but do hold on to hope. I suggest you lookup Sandi's list and have it laminated and reread it daily. It is a good thing you stumbled onto this forum, you have found just about the greatest bunch of people that you can count on. The help from the vets (veterans - the people that have been in your shoes for years)is awesome. A lot of the stuff you are going to hear is counter intuitive, but it does produce a result. Sadly I have yet to meet a newbie who follows the advice. Everybody seems to know best. But that's OK. You will "get the lesson" when you are supposed to.
As others have said, take your mind off your W and let her do her stuff, she has to do what she thinks she has to do and there really is no point in trying to change her mind. She has to come to the realization herself.
As for your love, you have to shelf that feeling on a shelf in the waaaaaaay back of the garage somewhere, because this feeling is only causing you hurt.
As others have said, go out, have a plan, get a life (GAL). You will be temped to date,to ease the pain, resist the urge, you have some big time healing to to...
Try to stop snooping (don't now if you are), not knowing helps, because you cannot unsee the stuff you see.
I know it does not even remotely look like it, but this can be a real blessing in disguise. It is a time for you to shine, to reinvent yourself, to become the best man/person/dad you can be. It sure was the case in my situation.
Thank you for the encouragement. I was snooping early on. My kids told me I was turning into a stalker. I've quit that. Like you said was only hurting me. I DO take everyone's advice seriously. And when I'm not with or talking to W I do fine. But when we r together or talking, especially if it wasn't planned, I'm like a school boy with his first crush.
After my little breakdown when looking at the old love letters, the rest of the. Igbo was pretty good. Was real tired. Haven't been sleeping good again lately. Went to bed and don't recall any upsetting dreams last night. Here's hoping for a good day.
