I did not post on my thread for a while as I had a little "incident" and did not want my thread to be among the first ones on MLC topic. I needed some spelling help from h and he came behind me and stayed longer than needed. Then I realised that one of the tabs was DB site and since it shows the full web address I wanted to make sure he couldn't find my thread if he was curious to check... I really hope he did not. Not that I'm saying anything secret here but it would make me uncomfortable if he was reading it.
We had very eventful couple of days. I don't know what is happening with h. It's really confusing. The last couple of days, I felt really negative towards him but did not show it. Just deep inside, whenever he was supposed to come, I soooo didn't feel like seeing him. On Sat I even closed myself in my room and did not come out while he was here (true, I was extremely tired but it was not the only reason I stayed in bed). And this is the time when he always waits for me even if I come from work late, knowing that he cooks for the kids so it's ok. Before he would usually be gone by that time now he stays to talk to me. Nothing serious, just work and other neutral subjects. I always listen, sometimes tell him something about me but deep down I was really not enjoying it.
On Sun, it was a beautiful day and though it was not planned that he will come (agreement is he tells me at least a day before) he texts me to tell me that it's a beautiful day and to let him know when he can come to take kids out. I told him we had plans and that he can join if he wants. He did. We had really nice time. He talked to me a lot (and this time I enjoyed it). And then he, very carefully, brought up his wish to help me drive when I'm going to spend a week with kids in our apartment in what we call our home country (though both of us are from different countries, but we both love it, met there, s15 was born there, had our wedding there...). He said "if I'm ok with it". I am ok with it. We are always so relaxed and happy there, I mean the family as a whole. So I think it will be nice. Before he avoided going there because he thought I want to bring him there so we rekindle what we had (I have no desire to do so, he is not the person I married and loved and it will take time for him to come back if he ever does). He will not stay with us the entire week but he will come back to help driving back again. Not that I would really need it, I did that by myself many times before, plus I don't find it safe when he drives these days (yesterday he wanted to change lanes while there was a car next to us - with a very angry driver in it, but luckily the driver reacted fast and h also noticed so did not go all the way...). But I'm happy he offered and that he cares. It will not be easy for him, he has many trips planned for work and I know it's very tiring for him.
He also started to take care of things in the house more than before. Pays attention to things, e.g. on Sun he asked me if he should shop as I don't seem to have much in the fridge (went shopping after he came on Sat and it's true the fridge was empty - I have 2 hungry teenagers!). And he uses words that he was avoiding for so many months like "we". "Did we get mail?". Before it was "was there any new mail?". And today, I sent him an e-mail about something important to which he never replied but then in the evening he texts me to say "I'm home". Home! He is avoiding that word since March! He was saying it a few weeks after he moved out then stopped and only said "I'm with the kids" or something similar. I really don't understand!
I arrived home tonight and he was playing music on his phone and sang along. In a great mood entire time... Seriously not sure what to think about it. A short phase of clarity in his MLC world?
