I think you need to have your lawyer look those papers over when she gives them to you. Do not agree to anything until a lawyer has reviewed them.
Right now, all she's thinking about is herself. Lip service isn't going to make you feel any better. Most people would attempt to repair any issues in the marriage before deciding on a divorce. But, then again, she's not thinking like most people at the moment. It's all about her and what she wants.
Why is it so easy for her? Because she emotionally detached from the marriage a year or so ago. You, unfortunately, were just slammed hard w/the BD and the divorce talk. You've not had time to catch up to where she's at in detachment.
SBJ, it's not about whether you are good enough or not, it's about what she needs to do and that is go back to her past and figure things out and grow up. Those painful feelings of hers have been stuffed down very low in her soul for many years and now they've come bubbling up. The love she has for you has now taken the place deep within her soul until she completes her journey. It's not you...it's her.
Your journey is also one of self discovery and learning more about yourself. Are there issues that you think need to be worked on? If so, make a list and start working on them. However, do them for YOU and not to win her back.
Detaching is for you and it's not a ploy to make her miss you. It's to help you to not engage in her drama and give her space. It is to help you develop emotional detachment in order to retain your personal, physical, emotional and spiritual health.
As for the pain, you have to work thru that. There is no easy way around it, but thru it. What is happening is you are in the early stages of grieving the loss of the marriage. It will take time because the wound is still very raw. It's one step at a time and then one day at a time and there will be times when it's one step forward and two steps back. But you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue to move forward while leaving the door ajar.
Here is a thread on detachment. Read it. It explains what detachment is all about:
I would also suggest that you read HaWho's postings. Her h is living at home and she's learned the art of detachment. Even still, she has ups and downs on the rollercoaster when her h throws some curve balls.
