Focus on Me and the Boys 9

[J5K]

STBX calls last night at 6 pm. Background noise sounds like she is out at a restaurant. I answered the phone and said kids are eating I will have them call you back when they are done. She immediately says I would like to talk to you for a bit. Her voice is nice and soft and calm. I step outside and she asks if the transfer is going through. I said yes, I requested it Friday.

She then suggests we both go in front of the judge on Friday and request change of domicile if possible. She feels if we are both there and agree judge will grant it. I said OK. She also asked if she can ask for permission for Canadian Citizenship for the boys. I said yes, no problem.

I asked why she thought she would need $2900 per month if custody were to flip and she gets two thirds and she just reiterated that is what she calculated she would need. I stated for me to agree, what I would need is all receipts knowing that the money went directly to the boys and utilities of the house. She quickly responded well I am not doing that, they can stay with you then. I said OK.

She offered to take S2 during the day and pick up the boys from school in order to minimize the nanny/daycare costs. I said that is appreciated and we can discuss details another time.

She has overstepped every boundary that I would have communicated to her. This last one of exposing the boys to new OM4 has pushed my anger over the edge. The best thing I can do is protect them by having more overnights with me than her and give them as much love as I can. The help will be appreciated to ensure I have a nice organized place for the boys and get them into a solid routine. This will be a positive for the boys to have us in the same city.

I truly have nothing left to say to STBX. I will do my best to put a smile on my face when she is around the boys but that is it. I am not sure how I feel about her anymore, or if I will ever want her back. Her perception of family is very different than mine and clearly the two do not mesh. That's ok, I will continue to make the best of what I have with my sons.

I will also have to set very clear boundaries on her helping out in order to save costs. No OM around when she picks up kids from school or has S2. If she breaks that boundary then I have no issue paying for daycare. Is this a reasonable boundary to set?