I do appreciate your post job...and yes I do feel like I'm stuck and I do want to stop it honestly. I feel I do make steps forward then something happens and I allow myself to come crashing back down then I vent on here.

Thank you also esame and ginger for your responses.

I do take steps I promise but even h used to say I wa like a terrier and couldn't let things go lol.....I guess I am proving him right with that aspect of my personality..... I've picked myself up from many bad things and even I don't understand what it is in me that can't let this go.

However on a positive, am throwing myself into work...hope I'm doing ok because I'm working enough. Am trying very hard not to bring work home so it doesn't impact on the kids ( although half the time they are on their tablets wink ) and I had a lovely afternoon with my youngest on Saturday watching paddington