Mia, Your h knows you so well and he can sense/tell when you are angry just by your body language and the way you behave. You do not have to say one word in anger, but the look on your face and in your eyes says it all. The eyes are the doorway to the soul. Your children can sense it too.
You stated that you felt that you were being attacked. I don't see that in any of the postings. What I do see is that people do care about you and are trying to help you see that your anger is being fueled by when you have a bad day or you aren't feeling well, etc. No matter what your h does or doesn't do, you are angry and frustrated w/him. Your h isn't to blame for your bad day or when you aren't feeling well. He doesn't have that kind of control over you, but you do have control over how you deal w/the trials and tribulations in your life. Find ways to turn that anger and frustration into something productive. Yes, this is a very safe place to vent, but when we see posters getting stuck on the hamster wheel, we get concerned and tend to get a bit stronger in pointing out that a poster needs to pay particular attention to what they are posting and how they are dealing w/their situation. Very few of your postings are happy ones...many of them are expressions of anger and frustration. This concerns me...I don't want to see you get stuck and become a bitter woman in the process.
Unfortunately, we do not see you on a day to day basis and the only thing we have to go on is your postings. If you are angry and frustrated here, then some of that anger and frustration is being displayed in real life. Please do not allow that anger and frustration to ruin your life. You have beautiful children who need both parents in their lives and hopefully can come to some resolution and co-parent in a good way. What your h has done isn't fair to you and your children, but the ones that lose out in all of this are the children, especially when the parents can't find a way to work things out. The children need to know that they have a safe place to land, not only in your home, but his as well.
You state that you are not a victim, but your postings are painting a different picture. Please, please take some time and go back and re-read all of your postings and see just how many times we all have advised you to do something different and to find ways of alleviating your anger and frustration. You are stuck and until you release some of that anger and frustration, you are going to continue to spin on the hamster wheel.
I want you to know that I am not attacking you...I'm pointing out what I see in your postings and I am concerned because that anger and frustration can create a lot of stress and health problems for you.
