You need to read ForeverYoung's posts. His wife said similar things about him and they got through it.
Although honestly, I think she is being totally unfair in calling you an abuser and I felt that about FY's wife too. It's a shame that the counselor is feeding into that narrative. She knows you love her and it's irrational to think that a husband who loves you is abusing you but there is this whole cultural concept of "marital rape" etc. that I think some women get sucked into and it only winds up hurting themselves. Before anyone jumps on me about this, I'm a woman myself and actually can relate somewhat to his wife's situation but that is part of the reason I think she is being completely unfair. But everyone will tell her otherwise and there's probably nothing you can do about it.
