Youre signature says this: "Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat"
Given those parameters, what is your plan? My concern for you is that your W has no fear of crossing your boundaries. Sure, youre going to get mad or 'lose it', and then hat? Time marches on, you swallow it, and you guys resume living your life.
This is what, the fourth, fifth, eighth time shes crossed that same boundary, and yet, it looks like you have no alternative besides just waving your hands around, getting upset and hoping that she will change her behavior next time.
I think if you want her to change her ways, then you need to consider what YOU will change first to get that kind of response. Frankly, repeating a mantra, having a check-in text and checking up through your friend networks sounds super controlling. It has to be up to W to make her own choices. And then you need to decide what your limits are for you to be healthy.
