When something stings, it means we should take a look at it.
I cannot begin to express how much I was like you. I felt attacked often on here. Finally, I realized when it stings, I should look at it. I did not really DB until my ex was remarried to his OW. I was here, but I was the worst DBer. I was a victim. I was mad as heck my ex could do what he could and get away with it. it was all I could focus on. The unfairness of it all.
I was on the boards at the beginning of my sitch. Mostly b!tching about my ex and how unfair it all was and about how hurt and angry I was. I don't think it was until after he was married to OW I chose to start Dbing. I was done with my ex, but I just wanted to feel better. My ex was happy. And I was miserable. And I began to realize at this point, I was the cause of my own misery. I had to take ownership of my own life and ownership of my feelings.
I'm so glad I did. I could have said that I didn't show my ex my anger or my D. Guess what, it permeates. My D who was like 3, felt it. Even if I thought I was putting on a mask. My ex knew I was bitter and angry. It just wafted off of me.
Mia,
Take the focus off his life. Don't bother yourself for one more minute on what he is doing, if he is happy, how he is feeling. Take that energy and turn it around to YOU. What goals do you have for yourself? What are you doing for self care? Where do YOU want to be? because where you want to be has nothing to do with anyone else and how they are living their lives. You actually do have that power.
You do have the power to change your perspective, rid yourself of your anger and live a good life. That power was never in anyone elses hands but your own. Take it back. You want him to have the power over you? Hellz no!
