Cherry. He's gone, but the drama has not

[roist]

WOW I just caught up with you. You have had a lot to handle and handle it you are. You are brilliant. Don't doubt that.

I have been depressed in the past, even suicidal thoughts. It is a lousy place to be. For most depressed people, indirect cries for help are used because they cannot face directly seeking help nor facing the depression.

As others have stated, you cannot fix him. He may think you can, but you cannot. Regardless of what happens you are not to blame either. Don't even contemplate going down that road. As I have said before, you are remarkable especially for your age.

I can only imagine what you are going through. Not many could handle all you are handling. But do look after yourself. Put as much effort as possible into that. The strain you must be under is colossal.TThe next straw could break you. I think you are very strong but we all have our limits. This is why YOU needs to be your top priority now.

As for H and this is my personal non professional opinion. I don't think he is suicidal.Yes he thinks those thoughts. But most suicides that I know about were not following a wallow period with suicidal statements. I am.not saying he won't, but to me it reads more as a desperate man who doesn't see a way forward. I imagine the truth will not take long to reveal itself. Stay strong.

Vanilla is surely right about there being more to this. Maybe it has nothing to do with this, but it is also possible that the recent exposure of his A, and the resulting pressure could have caused that fantasy to crumble and he has to face reality and the aftermath of his actions. This is mindteading of course but I just wanted you to realise that if that is the case, this could be positive for saving your M. But that will depend on him.

So what are you doing to look after you? Journaling? Cbt?,mindfulness? Go treat yourself to something nice today.

Best wishes