The only problem is ... based on what people write her about their spouses ... most of the spouses are fools.
How is that a problem? Not sure how that should change that the approach of the LBS should stay focused on becoming the person that only a fool would leave... I would say the point is a good one as many threads now are missing that in the advice... Lots of focus on countering every little move of the WAS...not really good DBing...
Bingo! Becoming the spouse only a fool would leave doesn't mean you change to meet everyone of their demands. It means becoming more comfortable in yourself, the way you handle conflict, communicate, and compromise. Let's face it, we ALL could do better. This is a true learning experience. It doesn't mean changing who we are to the core, but becoming a healthier version of ourselves. I am sad sometimes I lost my "innocence" in all of this. That we just get married, love eachother, and live happily ever after. It takes work!!!
Completely agreed that countering every move of the LBS is not DBing. It really becomes a power struggle and a pissing match. Doesn't bring anyone closer to their goal.
