The sun will rise for a new day

[SH_]

Again Ghost, you do not reply to questions about your visits with your IC...
I am starting to wonder if you are ignoring on purpose...
or if you are not seeing an IC that can really help you...

Do share some of what she is working to help you with.
It is time that you focus on the things you are working towards...not running from.
What you focus on becomes the realities ...
There is a saying that one needs to focus on the solutions, not the problems...
Do you know why?

perhaps it is just my mindset perhaps not

Ghost, IT is your mindset...of that there is little doubt, after all that you have shared for the past year and a half...

Everything, for everyone is a mindset...

Your mindset is the engine that is not working right now, and you, only you have the tools and know how to get it going again.

How to stop myself feeling bitter,

How?
You make a decision to stop.
You focus on that which you can control.
You choose to make different decisions.
You learn meditation to stable your mind.
You seek help.
You take action.
You speak with a trained professional therapist/pshyciatrist that is trained in CBT among other things that can help you.
You be honest with the trained professional...
You stop hiding and bemoaning it all...

You discontinue writing the same things over and over again without making the needed efforts and seeking the assistance that you need.

Ghost,

There really is nothing that I have left to offer you except for my prayers...
The ball is in your court, and will continue to be so until you...you alone... you decide to...and then take action...

The tire is a little low on air, but still serviceable,
The engine will not work until you pay attention to it and do what you know how to do...
The bad things that you want to avoid continue to come towards you, and your only chance to stay ahead of it is by doing something...

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

Good luck my friend.
Send out a call for me one you have made a decision and taken action to move forward.

You are in my prayers.

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.” James Allen