Taking the first step...

[Coly23]

Thanks Andrew, Sotto and Job. H did respond in the end ('Yeah, a lovely chocolate cake!') but I've given myself a good talking to and won't fall into that trap again. Although he did eventually respond, the anxiety I feel when he doesn't respond straight away really isn't worth it. Bad Coly!!

Andrew, I don't really have any signposts except the fact that he has left most of his stuff in the house but nothing else to give me any hints. H definitely knows he can come back so there is no doubt there. He is very private and can be quite stubborn and not the type to drop any hints. He most likely would just turn up one day at the door out of the blue and I will know straight away from his face that he is looking to come back.

Sotto, it worries me that my D isn't connecting very much with H at the moment so our reasons to see each other has reduced by 100%. Maybe it's better that way because I hate seeing him and knowing he doesn't want to be with me. Also I'm glad you said to ignore the two month thing because that would contradict with the journey of someone having a MLC.

Job, it's hard to reconcile how he might be feeling with how he comes across in texts to me. He always sounds quite upbeat and happy however when I was having my small anxiety attack and crying my eyes out today I responded to a text to my sister in a very upbeat way so she wouldn't have known how I was really feeling at that point. I guess that might be the same for him too. It's easy to hide behind a text or e-mail.

I do need to accept that my marriage is dead. I'm getting there but if is a slow process.

I shall leave it up to God and trust in his higher power and get that rubber band back in my wrist!!!

X