Found out about W affair, she does not know I know

[Steady9]

Ok. Yesterday morning we talked for an hour with her shedding some tears etc. I turned her sex offer down. I feel she was working me.

This morning we talked again. She is leading the conversation. I am looking her in the eyes, mirroring and listening. I had a few opportunities to acknowledge in the past I could have done better -- less focus on work etc

She has very much noticed I have detached. In only 6 days. She manages all finances last night I asked her if she could get copies of our credit reports. Here and mine. She did. I talked openly about being prepared to move on independtly. And I want to share that I am and can do the detachment stuff and also I made the real decision to not be scared of D, even though I hope we can mend.

She says good words today about realizing she is being selfish, kids like school here and have made friends. Selfish was used several times. From this website I have learned not to believe what she says. It is a little tough on this one because it seems like she meant that with some examples.

She talked about the bedroom stuff and mental emotional connection. She feels that with the way we are interacting today, this can be better. She was asking for patience as she moved some mental switches. I let her know that I was giving her space and time.

She is having an affair with a blue collar poorer person than I am ,..... so I assume she likes the lifestyle we have versus being poor. But obviously she was looking for something that I was not providing.

Ok happy for any comments. I assume this will take months from reading the stories. But wondering since this was a long distance affair... or something else... will it always take months.??