Coly23 - I've been going through pretty much the same thing myself. It's tough and I think I've screwed up and pushed too hard in the last couple of days. I'm trying to do damage control now by pulling back but not pulling back too hard - if that makes sense.
It's funny - I've never met job in real life and only know her as words on the screen (I believe you are a lady job - hope I'm not offending by guessing wrong gender). She has a way of writing and giving advice that really works for me and I think it does for you too. Side bit - when a ship approaches a harbour they bring on board a local expert called a pilot. Those pilots take full and total control of the ship overriding even the captain. The captain doesn't need to know how to navigate the inshore waters, but needs to just trust the pilot. Neither of us know where this journey is going or what our destination is but having a pilot like job on our decks gives me and I hope you confidence that we'll be kept safe.
I find for me that the need to contact W builds and builds inside me. At the beginning I would come up with all sorts of seemingly valid reasons to contact her but fortunately was able to resist the urge most of the time. I don't think that just an elastic band would work for me like it does for you when the pressure gets to be too much. If you do feel like texting / calling / sending semaphore signals try posting it here first and then sitting on it. I've done that a couple of times and it's allowed the urge to pass. Having a good and understanding friend to call as an alternate might help. It's helped me a few times for example to write to D24 (S22 isn't great at responding quickly) and just tell her that I'm hurting and lonely. That sweet girl will almost immediately respond with an ILU and an electronic hug which can pull me back from the brink.
You're not alone my friend - there are other ships that are just as lost as you. I hope that helps you like knowing you are working through the same things as me helps me.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
when the pressure gets to be too much. If you do feel like texting / calling / sending semaphore signals try posting it here first and then sitting on it. I've done that a couple of times and it's allowed the urge to pass. Having a good and understanding friend to call as an alternate might help. It's helped me a few times for example to write to D24 (S22 isn't great at responding quickly) and just tell her that I'm hurting and lonely. That sweet girl will almost immediately respond with an ILU and an electronic hug which can pull me back from the brink.