I don't understand how we got here. We were good together, strong. You said we didn't have any common goals anymore. I thought we had an important one, bringing up our children together to be happy secure adults.
When you said you didn't love me anymore I couldn't cope with it. Remember I was having a hard time at work , so you saying that pushed me over the edge and no I didn't handle it very well...I did shout.
If you could've just told me how you were feeling we could have sorted this. You know you could have even told me about the other woman and I would've listened and we could have talked it out.....and we wouldn't be here now...you know in your heart that is true.
But whatever you tell yourself...every time you spoke to her about us, after you decided you were unhappy you hammering more nails into the coffin of our marriage.
This is another example. You said:
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If you could've just told me how you were feeling we could have sorted this.
But he did tell you how he was feeling:
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You said we didn't have any common goals anymore.
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you said you didn't love me anymore
Wasn't that him telling you what he felt? Or are the only legitimate feelings to be expressed the ones you like?
And then you act as if his feelings were his choice:
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you decided you were unhappy
Do you really believe that he took a conscious decision to be unhappy? Really? Who does that?
You didn't like his feelings, but he DID tell you what they were, and you chose to get angry and try to tell him he was wrong to feel that way.
Solutions are concrete actions. Not getting angry and trying to bully the other person into feeling something opposite of what they feel.
