It makes me mad that the way I reacted to his behaviour is still his excuse for walking out in his family.
I could pick a lot more points to comment on but I will just focus on this one. You say you are mad that he used your angry reaction as an excuse to walk out on you. Mad is just another way of saying angry. So you are saying you are angry at him for using your previous anger as a justification to walk out on you. You knew the anger was the reason he left in the first place, you know it was a mistake on your part, but yet you continue to be angry. You are simply reinforcing his reason to leave by giving him more of it. Walking out on your spouse is a lousy thing to do, but you have trapped yourself in a vicious self-reinforcing circle of anger that just grows and grows. Being angry at someone for not putting up with your anger just seems so self-destructive. What's next? Being angry because he ignored the fact that you were angry about him not accepting your anger? You see where I am going with this? Only you can put a stop to this.
