Mia-I am just getting familiar with your situation by reading some of your past posts. But there is one saying that keeps running through my mind over and over: "If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem."
I don't see a single word in your posts about what you are doing to make the situation better. Yes, you are admitting you might have made some mistakes in the past, but you seem more content to seek solace in comparing yourselves and deciding because you feel he is more to blame then you are, that you are absolved of having any responsibility to be a better person, rather than actually try and do anything to change the situation yourself.
If you want to save your marriage or at least have a civil relationship with him in the future for the sake of your kids, then you need to take responsibility for yourself and stop the victim mentality. Otherwise, this is going to end badly. You aren't doing a single thing that would even possibly lead to another outcome.
