I think you did the right thing. Now, you will need to stick to the "no discussions via text/post it notes". If he wants to have a conversation, then he will need to speak to you in person, face to face.
As for him not eating what you prepare...then so be it. He'll get over it and if he doesn't, he'll have to fix his own meals. Let him stew in his PA pot.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
