Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 5

[PsySara]

My 5 year old is in kindergarten and my 3 yo is in preschool while I am at work. The nanny stays with the baby during my work hours. I go am at work at 7 am and off by 4 pm, my contract is for a year and not alterable. When I come home my nanny goes home and I do the dinner, bath, book, bedtime routine. One weekend a month I am on call so I work 12 days straight, this is part of my contract. I have ENORMOUS debt from medical school loans that should be paid off in 10 years.

The hours aren't intense but the emotional toll is huge. I am mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the work day. I come from a very poor family so it took me a long time to work my way through undergrad, I was 28 by the time I started medical school. I am 39 years old and just became a full fledged doctor. Junior physicians always have the harder shifts and longer hours, just part of the hierarchy. I am grateful that I finally reached my dream of being a doctor so I am not complaining. The pay is very good and I find great satisfaction knowing my children will never know the difficulties I grew up with. (electric not getting paid, little food, lots of midnight evictions because my mother didn't pay rent) There is also the benefit if WH decides to truly walk away and disappear that I will be able to financially raise my children solo. So far he has not been neglectful monetarily, he pays for their private schooling and upkeep.