Focus on Me and the Boys 9

[J5K]

Sandi,

I am not going to wait a year. I redid the numbers, so with the exchange rate, cost of living is equal. Moving up three will put S4 in pre-K for free which will save me $1K per month. S2 will be able to go in 2 years which will save me 9K in 2 years. The remaining daycare/nanny costs are the same.

Moving anywhere, whether in Michigan or Toronto will get me out of this limbo. I am choosing Toronto because I do not want the boys travelling every month back and forth for a 10 hour round trip plus holidays/spring breaks. If I come to see my family 4 to 6 times per year that is good enough for me. I also just want the change for myself. I truly do not want her anymore. She is who she is and I don't want to be with a person who is so toxic and does not want to make the effort to understand me and my feelings.

As stated before, quality of life is better, and I do have friends there to GAL. There are more Greek people there and I would prefer if I do remarry to have them be Greek. If I happen to find someone who is not, that is great also, not sure I have an opinion either way about the future of being with someone else at this point.

I have told my L that I do not want the divorce. It is clearly stated in the psych eval also.
Apparently this Friday one of us just needs to go and confirm all the items we discussed, mediation, etc and then we will be D 21 days after judgment. Good riddens to STBX.

The crazy part is STBX is trying to extort money from me and saying it is for the boys. She wants $2900 per month in child support because that is what she calculated to live in the house her parents gifted her, I disagreed and stated that I have no issue paying the formulated amount. She says, you can choose to pay more. I told her I choose not to and so she is still good with being a 1/3 of the year mom.

So DB coach said he was glad to hear that I am over her. I did say I wanted a good co-parenting R with STBX and he liked that.

I asked how do I have healthy communication with STBX.

He gave me the following example:

If STBX says A, B, C, D.
I say: if I hear you correctly you said A, B, D.
Then she will say: No you forgot C.
Then I just say: Got it.

I leave it at that. Just repeat what she says and I am neither agreeing or disagreeing.

I think I did some of this through the last set of texts.

I spoke with my uncle and he said he would help financially to get a house there and come up with a plan to repay him the money. I do not plan on living near STBX. I will live where it suits me and the boys so that I am centrally located to work and downtown. DB coach state that as long as I feel that it would be a positive to the co-parenting R then he supported the move.