RBG80, I saw your question on Detachment, and I thought I would share from my experience. I was separated for over 3 years before I was divorced. For the 1st 2 years I was her friend, I texted and emailed her. I called her. But the ONLY time she ever moved closer to me was when I became involved in outside activities/people, and pulled back from her.
I have found a few ways to help with detachment. The 1st, is to become involved with someone else. During my separation I joined a dating website, and I found a wonderful woman who was beautiful, kind and supportive.
But I lied to her telling her I was "divorced" when I was separated. When I told her the truth, she was hurt and broke off contact with me. Although being involved with someone else is a great way to stop thinking about your spouse, I don't recommend it bc it hurts other people.
The 2nd way that I found helpful to detach is getting involved with other activities. I became involved in 'Divorce Care'. I was also in a small group that had 2 other guys who were also going thru divorce/separation. It was great to have other people that I could help, and who helped me and understood what I was going thru.
And don't forget to help your son. Make his needs your priority right now. He is going to be damaged from this, and he needs you now more than ever.
When I am detached, I think less and less about my ExW. It does get better. Now if I have a flash thought about my ExW, I say a quick prayer for her, and this seems to help so that it is only momentary and nothing more. I hope this helps.
