Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 5

[SH_]

What am I doing for myself? GAL is difficult when you are parenting/working 24/7. My DB even is a bit stuck when it comes to suggesting ways of caring for myself. I have sought out help from my family but they are very limited with regards to how much they can help. My mother (who is notoriously undependable) has flaked on my multiple times with helping out with the kids. My nanny is already complaining about working 5 days and the hours involved. I have looked for temporary help but they don't want to work weekends or for the small amount of hours I require to regroup. I continue to try but I can't make help miraculously appear.

When you focus on problems, you create more problems.
When you focus on possibilities , you will have more possibilities.
Zig Zigler


Food for thought...

You say, "I continue to try but I can't make help miraculously appear."

What if this comment was, "I continue to try but I can't make WH miraculously see what he is missing and return to the MR."

Would you try any less hard?

I don't think you would...your actions show you would not.
You are working your a$$ off to make this miracle happen still, right?
Much of what you do is with the effort to do so.

So you do believe in miracles ...

My thought is, yes it is very difficult the situation that you are in to achieve GAL, but putting in the same or more effort as you are for WH can make this miracle happen.

Sometimes I am able to go to lunch with a cousin but that is about twice a month. Rarely I get off a bit early and I use that time to get my hair done or some other bit of pampering. One of the reasons I was hesitant to have a third child is because my children were already potty trained and becoming somewhat self sustainable. WH pleaded for a third and promised to pull his weight....we see how that ended.

Thought stop opportunity...

WH pleaded for a third and promised to pull his weight....we see how that ended.
Maybe the thought that can replace this is,

"WH pleaded for a third and promised to pull his weight....my WH may not be assailable as I would hope for to care for our child, but now I have beautiful child that brings me joy daily."

far as the OW goes, both affairs were with the same person. Since then WH has told me it is over between them. Ironically he has told me it would be easier to leave me now since he doesn't have the guilt of choosing one woman over another. He has offered transparency but this has been hit or miss since his instinct is to be secretive and defensive. He still has poor boundaries and that is his biggest weakness. My DB coach says it's not what you say but how you say it, so I am working on how I ask for him to shore up his boundaries without it becoming an ultimatum. This is a process.

Transparency with hit and miss?
Does this work for you?
"DB coach says it is not what you say but how you say it..."
Truth to this for sure
MWD says action, not words are what matter...
No matter how or what we say, if our actions are not consistent then our words will lose punch whether said right or wrong....

Stay the course my dear Sara, it is a process, and as you learn from each step of the way you will come closer to your goals, you will become stronger, you will be the person that you desire to be.

I continue to be your greatest cheerleader and supporter.
You will prevail.

“Relationships are such that if one person changes, the relationship changes.” MWD