Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 5

[PsySara]

What am I doing for myself? GAL is difficult when you are parenting/working 24/7. My DB even is a bit stuck when it comes to suggesting ways of caring for myself. I have sought out help from my family but they are very limited with regards to how much they can help. My mother (who is notoriously undependable) has flaked on my multiple times with helping out with the kids. My nanny is already complaining about working 5 days and the hours involved. I have looked for temporary help but they don't want to work weekends or for the small amount of hours I require to regroup. I continue to try but I can make help miraculously appear.

Sometimes I am able to go to lunch with a cousin but that is about twice a month. Rarely I get off a bit early and I use that time to get my hair done or some other bit of pampering. One of th reasons I was hesitant to have a third child is because my children were already potty trained and becoming somewhat self sustainable. WH pleaded for a third and promised to pull his weight....we see how that ended.

As far as the OW goes, both affairs were with the same person. Since then WH has told me it is over between them. Ironically he has told me it would be easier to leave me now since he doesn't have the guilt of choosing one woman over another. He has offered transparency but this has been hit or miss since his instinct is to be secretive and defensive. He still has poor boundaries and that is his biggest weakness. My DB coach says it's not what you say but how you say it, so I am working on how I ask for him to shore up his boundaries without it becoming an ultimatum. This is a process.