I opened my big mouth again. she didn't have a ring on left hand, and I said, so we're not wearing our wedding rings now? I guess that means I can take mine off, and it's ok if I talk to girls?
she says yeah, whatever, then went back to fussing at our S about something.
I wish I hadn't side anything at all, but damnit, I did. now I'm sad again. well, f me.
Sure, it was a mistake. We all made lots of them when we were in your position. It's not like you've got any context with regards to appropriate betrayed husband behavior. Instead of beating yourself up, you can, from time to time simply apologize in a confident manner (you're not begging for forgiveness here). You're hurt and you want to lash out and control everything on one hand and the other hand wants to fix it, own your own crap and be nice to her hoping she changes her mind and decides to reconcile. You're an emotional basket case.
Being playful and texting back and forth the night before was perfect. It's about as much 'intimacy' as she can likely handle right now. Her coming home early is a pretty good indication she tried to go out and have fun but just couldn't. To me that confirms 'no contact' too (though maybe she was going out hoping to see him and he couldn't/wouldn't get away???). Even the apparent quick shot you took for sex, without begging or sulking afterwards is OK. Doesn't sound like her response was - "no way, yuck" but was probably more along the lines of "I'm tired, not ready for that" - which is progress and you communicated you want her.
But the passive aggressive statements about the rings this morning were not really authentic. You don't want to date anyone else right now. Just ignore the ring. It's her side of the street and out of your control. it's something she's processing. It's probably not about dating other people (she loves and misses OM) but more her pride about having to follow through with divorcing you because of OM as well as convincing others she's serious. Wear yours. Keep wearing it until you are actually divorced. Your vows were to her and God - a promise a man makes forever. Counter her wishy washy'ness with conviction in action.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
