New and need help.

[RBG80]

Having a really bad day today! Cried for the first time in weeks and Sandi, your post has just started me off again. You have hit the nail right on the head!!!

W went out last night with a mutual friend (K) bumped into another mutual fried (S). S spent an hour and a half "lecturing" my W about making the wrong decision. I got it in the neck for that. Spoke to K then who was brutally honest with me and said that the W's head seems straight and that she's done. Maybe the brutality is something that I needed.

I have been hopeful this last week and I wonder if the hope is hurting me more than anything else. I do KNOW that there is no-one else and maybe I should be grateful of this....

I'm struggling with the 'understanding' of the separation and suspect that she has felt suffocated for a long time. Maybe she just needs space to work on herself and maybe she'll realize that she want the M to work (maybe she wont). I know that this is something that is out of my control.

There are so many nice people here and I can see so much pain too. i thank all who have offered me help and support.

A little more advise if I may ask...
1 Detachment seems so difficult - is it a time thing? Do I have to get to a certain point before I'm able to do this? Am I too early in the process?
2 Honestly, does it get better? where I am at the moment it just seems that working on me will result in a better me (and right now I hate me, let alone want a better version oh me).
3 I know that everyone's situation is different and I know I need to concentrate on me (rather than what I've lost), but you guys have all been here a lot longer than me, is having hope just going to damage me more?

Thanks again guys. Your patience which me is very appreciated and I will be looking a lot further into detachment this weekend.