Thanks for the kind words folks and glad some of you found the depression quote helpful - it really spoke to me.
Well - things have been so busy here! I'm working my new increased hours and trying to settle them into a fixed pattern and fit my various other commitments around them. I'm finishing off a big piece of work and starting up my big project too - so work is quite challenging (in a good way) just now. I'm also still working on the house, which is largely fun...but again busy.
Still salsa dancing, going to yoga, seeing friends and doing things with my divorce group, blue bookstore volunteering, so life trips along. We still have our self-improvement reading group, which I'm hosting next time, and the next divorce group (which I'll be involved in) starts soon too.
Looks like things have settled down at college for my SS, which I'm glad about after his rough start. He and I plan to get together for a day during his holidays later this month - possibly with his Mum too - not yet sure. Enjoyed the black tie party last week and we won an award...went the whole 100 yards on beautifying - nails, tan, fake lashes, blow dry and felt great - NG asked how things went and I texted a pic of our group - with me looking fabulous of course!
He and I still chat a little by text and swap book details we're reading - mostly along self-improvement lines. Like me, he still seems to be very much working through things. I'm planning a drinks party for my birthday next month & may invite him along. He and I touch on flirtation but he doesn't seem to want to take things further and I don't push things either.
All silent from XH and I have no idea how he is doing. I still struggle a little with the feeling of 'is this it then?' And I find it hard to shake the feeling that I meant so little to him in the later stages of our M. For me, it has been hard (and helpful) that we only met once after BD2 and only spoke a few times too - so everything came to such an abrupt end, when I had thought the M good. It's a lot to process really. I am getting there, but I still find the absolute rift a challenge. That's not how I would choose any R to be, and I do wonder if that would change at some point. Less from a 'reconciling' POV - more from a settling the past perspective.
Anyway - things are generally fine and I'm appreciating friendships and the many good things life has to offer.
Have a great weekend & thanks for reading :)xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
