New LBH with WAW/Possibly WW, help Part 2

[nutts]

I'm sitting here, by myself, S is in bed, W went out with a friend. She didn't wear her wedding/engagement ring when she left, and I didn't say anything. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I care. I immediately took mine off, put it on my key ring. I looked in her jewelry box, and I didn't see the rings. So, I guess she has them in her purse, I don't know. Anyway, I put my ring back on, I'm not ready for a confrontation yet.

But, all day, I had a great day, took S to dinner (W didn't want to go), we had fun at Mexican place, came home, W says she's going with friend, is that OK, sure I say.

And, I'm becoming unfeeling towards her. I always have her in the back of my mind, but what she does, it's not bothering me near as much as it should. I wonder if this is detachment, or if it's a lack of feelings.

There's no doubt, I want my marriage to succeed, if only for my S. But, if I didn't have S, would I want my M to continue? I'm honestly not 100% sure.

Since I stop the porn/masturbation 3 weeks ago, I've been extra horny today (byproduct of rebooting my brain from porn), and I've been daydreaming about sexing my wife, and I'd love to do it, but I've also been thinking about other women too.

I know I'm rambling, but I just wanted to express my feelings. I'm coming to grips with all of this, and I honestly think our M is doomed. I'm going to keep following the DR guide, as it's a good guide even if we end in D.

Vanilla, I'll have to think about the goals, my mind isn't real clear right now, but thanks for the feedback.

Good night DBer's