Detached, getting along better, but in limbo....

[PsySara]

Two rules in DBing
1 Do what works
2 Stop doing what doesn't work

Part of the 180 method is to destroy the preconceived notions our WAS have about us. And no matter how small the action, the most consistent ones will be noticed. Over and over again MWD was saying to make the marriage a place where they would question leaving it. This doesn't mean acting desperate or begging but it's ok to send kind, warm messages. If she doesn't react then try a few more times (when appropriate of course) and if she sends a discouraging response then you know to back off and try something else. I've started keeping a journal as was suggested. This has helped keeping track of different responses. This is kind of like an experiment to find out what makes our spouses tick. How to push the RIGHT buttons.