RGB, You are in the hardest period of this mess. The strong attachment that we have to "the way things have always been" constantly pulls at you and urges you to disect, analyze, problem solve, and predict what will restore the status quo.
Good advice given to me is that, at some point, you're going to realize that you actually do not want a return to the status quo.
Something wasn't working, likely in and for both of you. Many times we men are oblivious to slowly building turbulence in our relationship - we figure being around is enough. And who knows the issues your wife is/has been dealing with.
That's why your absolute best (really only) course is to get yourself straightened out.
You cannot do anything to change her mind. REPEAT - you cannot do anything to change her mind. Say this to self over and over again until you begin to believe it.
You are advised by many here to focus on yourself, to "get a life", to "detach", etc. These are not magic pills that you can pretend your way through. These are not new sets of clothing that you put on the outside though everything is the same underneath.
Start planning for your life without her. I don't say this to be harsh, I say this because it's the only path that you KNOW you can determine right now. Don't pick up hobbies and activities that do not resonate with who you are and what you are passionate about. But DO find those things that resonate, that you care about, that you have passion for.
You're starting over.
It's not nearly as horrible as it sounds. Trust me.
One last thing - there's no reason why you have to facetime with your wife when she is visiting electronically with your son. Set it up, get connected, then leave the room and let the two of them visit. Go do one of those things that gives you joy, peace, or mental rest.
You can do this. But you HAVE to stop focusing on her - it's a fools errand that NEVER works.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
