The Fight For Self III

[CT1118]

[quote=MACH1]
What I see, is that you very much have to feel in control of most things.

So how are you addressing it ?

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So, good question - action steps. First off, I do believe the beginning was identification of the problem. Recognition of a problem is not always easy, MACH1 was one of two essential people in this for me. I am not going to repeat here, people who wish to read the exchange, search my posts or MACH1's on the date above, you will find it. Long story short, problem ID - may not be obvious to you, may require help of non-biased other(s) as did I.

Actions thus far:
1. I had to accept this as a possibility, before I accepted it for real. Two steps there. Did both.
2. Seek understanding of why, where, when, who, what - requires a whole lot of observation on self. Dig deep introspection. Again, those wanting to know more - seek my posts for the above date. The tactical aspects of this, simple - I kept a journal. I kept a journal specific to this issue, this matter, this one word - control. Sorry, kept is past tense - keep.
3. Time, make it. I have none school/work/son. I felt I had no time to read the books recommended to me here (not MWD stuff, the extra stuff, recommended by posters). I found time in commute, workout, shopping - found podcasts of the books and listened to books while transitioning between spaces of my day.
4. Brought up with IC, status pending.
5. Realized - what are my alternatives to control? Could, I be more integrative, open, understanding - perhaps just listen, look, and learn....what a concept.
6. Mostly, above all, acceptance that I am going to make mistakes. I am going to seek and want control. Where I identify a need for it and squash that, it may pop up elsewhere. You cannot compress a liquid - it will find a way out. Learning how I seek, when I seek - these are just as important as why. H3ll this whole thread these past few days was a partial result of this search inside me for this particular tick.
7. Keep moving forward my friend - most champions are not without defeat in places. I just keep trying to know - through mutual understanding lies mutual benefit, through mutual benefit lies increase resources, and when there is increased resource, there is increased gain. I say this of my interactions with all others.


Speaking of - I had time for a single reply tonight. Son with me, school with me - Cherry, I did eat tonight - healthy at that . Looking at some sleep, need to seize my tired moment.