I feel like a new Rouky, and every day that comes I learn a bit more about life and my life. I'm feeling peaceful and I'm noticing how this whole journey is changing me. Just an example today, I was really unwell (still went to work) and finished a long day with a meeting with parents, but despite all that my kids and I went to the chippy, got back home and sat being relaxed. Usually I'd stressed out because they didn't go to bed before a certain time, but tonight with me being so unwell it didn't matter.
My quality of life with my kids has been so much better since they met OW! It's funny how this is affecting in a very positive way my interaction with them. I'm still at times a stress mummy, but not as much! I have a much more positive outlook on life.
It feels like I have fought depression by myself, and I'm waving good bye to it. I even noticed a smile on my face as I thought that H might have truly found happiness with OW! It was like a lovely smile, a kind of way of me saying to H that despite what he did he still deserves to be happy and if OW is what he wants then I have to accept it and wish him well.
Going dark is what I really needed to help me to heal. I still text H when it's about the kids but other than that I carry on with my life. At the moment I haven't set any goals as i take each day as it comes and I'm fine with it.
When I joined here I was desperate, had low self-esteem, thought my life would end, but a year on I have accepted that I have faults, that I contributed to the end of my marriage, I have beaten depression, I love myself and my body.
In another words Rouky's caterpillar has become a beautiful butterfly who is just starts to fly.
