P.S, just so you know, detachment doesn't mean you have to stop loving her. it means your actions and reactions and feelings aren't contingent on hers.
The detachment thing is more about being your own person. Detachment is actually healthy IN a relationships at times. So, think of it as a practice that will benefit you either way.
Like I said, you could still love her. No one expects you to turn off a light switch. We never turn off switches for some people and can still move on with our own lives where we determine our feelings and actions, not that person.
Detachment that "turns off like a switch" is not healthy detachment and often times comes as a poor habit for emotionally protecting oneself...
Detachment that is a choice to not let the actions and words of another affect us, is healthy in any relationship...but only comes with practice until it is a good habit.
Codependency, is an outcome when we have created poor attachment and or detachment habits.
You must read the detachment link and any other material about healthy detachment so you can know what you need to put into practice... Too many lbs, see detachment as the relief to the emotional pain they are experiencing...it is not the destination...it is a conscious decision that we must make and it will take time to master, because so many of us were never taught to do so...
Losing 50 extra pounds when we are over weight is not easy. But those that do, choose too, then they get busy doing it.
You choose to detatch...or you choose not too...and no, it is not easy. What will you choose...? What will you do?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
You should warn her of the dangers of having an open flame near her car when she's filling her car with gas. And, while you're at it, confirm what time she'll be arriving to pick up your daughter.
I don't particularly want to, but she hasn't spent much time with our daughter in the last few weeks. Our D15 doesn't particularly want to go but she feels like she should.
