Detached, getting along better, but in limbo....

[Surfer]

PsySara

Thank you so much for the input. Yes she is employed. She 'had to get a job because I was so mean with money' that was the rewritten history anyway (she got it after her EA/PA also lost weight, dressed different, out with GFs a lot etc). Anyone that knows me knows I am anything but tight fisted. She earns average to good wage. The lifestyle she had was incredibly lavish by most standards. Up to 4 holidays a year - 1 with me.anyway I digress. I need to move things forward she is comfortable with the status quo in a house I am paying for with a lifestyle I am funding. I can only stop paying for these things by moving forward and that means her making progress with the mediation she instigated. She stalled it because "why not" what's her rush. Well I am not living like this anymore and neither should the kids.

I want to get finances and custody sorted. I am at circa 30% and want 50% custody. I also want to work out what she wants then pay her and just move on if the alternative is this limbo with someone that is, in my view, pretending to be nice but is still a WW.

The disrespect remains so I am enforcing boundaries when she spews and am pushing back to move this on. She needs to see that I am not her plan B. I don't know if there is an OM now but I suspect she spends most of her time bi#ching about her hard life and directing that at me. That is sufficient disrespect in my eyes.

She got a totally fair text from me saying we need to move on with things as it's not fair on the kids or me being in limbo. Apparently she told D8 (who was late here and is now with S6 - my night last night) that she had an upsetting text and had to go upstairs upset and speak to MIL last night. It either hit her that I am moving forward or she used it to spew and rewrite.

I guess I am getting ready to move on. W is not who I want. I want to pick up kids from school see them for 7 days on one week and then drop them at school - repeating this every other week so no contact with WW but Lots with them. Basically, I don't want to see her very much at all or have her in my life anymore - She is not someone I know or like and she will not change. I want every other birthday and Christmas and every Father's Day plus first 50% of each school holiday. At present I am getting way short. If I have to pay her an awful lot of money for this so be it. Provided it is fair and reasonable.

Surfer.