Yes I get it, of course his paperwork is going to be rubbish, nonsense and totally crap.
I want you to stay very calm ok.
What I have to say is very tough and hard to know.
Your D is high conflict. Please Google a high conflict D. There are some terrific books and resources available on high conflict legal interactions. You may need to read twice or more before it catches you and you won't like what you read. There is also a resource 10 mistakes men make in..... it is a good read, yes I know you and I aren't men these resources are essentially for those with the greater assets and knowledge in this is power. Sadly you will need to know your local laws and on legal issues perhaps ask for new opinions plus getting your own. There may be Ds like yours kicking about in Divorce Resource Groups, go seek that knowledge.
Expect lies, problems and counter moves from this Wassock. He broke the court order, if he has moved the cash it should still be there, a contempt of court with discovery will resolve it. You can suggest that he place the cash in his L client account in Escrow. At minimum you can expose lies, ask who gave him that advice and confirmation can be sought in court if it was his L. I would bet it wasn't. You can show the transaction you made by analysing the accounts. Ask for an analysis of the transactions he made if you don't have it. If you have an accountant friend ask them to help you lay this out with analysis and good summaries. Judges seem to love good summaries. In my case The Giggalo drew 85,000 in cash from accounts, I asked for it to be analysed and provided my analysis of my expenditure. This can be added back to his assets. There is a UK L called MariLynn Stowe who deals with taking the emotion out of D legals. I go there often to remind myself this is business. I am the little bird tweeting in your ear D is business. Be upset for a limited period Phoebe then D is business. Get great white anger.
The time for action in my view is now. You got this.
Phoebe you will need your ducks in a row, neatly and information at your finger tips on your fins. Your L can't do that for you, they can present the facts as you have them. The courts interpret facts presented and take the he said she said out of it. That means being proactive.
This will mean taking his statement and finding evidence to counter everything he says with facts and evidence. It will make you sick to your stomach. I had to strip the Giggalo FB account and examine every word to prove he had left the UK. For example his ex boss posted "living in Italy suits you" and a copy of his resignation from his golf club showing the date he resigned, this was inconsistent with the things he put on his forms.
INTEL. I did this myself with my two besties doing various bits for me and letting me cry. Others photocopied my packs so I didn't have to repeatly see the lying arse in print and pictures. He lied and the paperwork shows he lied.
Doing this hurt, it was disgusting and it triggered me. I puked a lot and had nightmares. Didn't sleep. I analysed every transaction in my books and bank account. Every one. I valued everything and had details of costs purchases. Hours I worked and my payments contributions and copies of bank statements, figures and assets. Dates things were purchased.
It took quite a bit of time to do. I don't take cash any more to pay for things instead I pay on cards as it leaves a trail.
Everything is organised and analysed.
All of the Giggalo statements countered.
Dearest Phoebe, you will harden your heart, treat your D as business like the Courts do. Evidence based. I am serious about reporting him for a breach of the Court Order. I wish I could come hold your hand through this, truly you deserve better.
I went through the Giggalo statements on D papers and each statement I analysed with three friends. Getting their opinions and memories. I obtained letters from other advisers too and processed those. Witness statements that countered everything he said that I wished to counter. Some of it I will use, some isn't worth the effort of countering. One friend was great at spotting inconsistencies in his paperwork.
This is dreadful, awful to deal with, and I know you will and can put your emotion to one side. You can cry when the work is done.
I know this is the worst and nothing you did means you deserve this. Nothing at all, this is the Wassock.
Hold tight, bumpy road ahead. Here have some more fire and grit sent in a big package wrapped in rainbows. Imagine you are made of steel and fire, my Phoebe is a determined lady. She is a lady of action and direction. You are hurting my lovely one let's get the white anger on it.
Let loose here Phoebe.
We are listening.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
