Vey detached, no longer anxious, in limbo

[Phoebe]

Thank you, JK and Painter. I'm just a mess right now. I know that this has to eventually, and that I'll get through it, but I'm sad and unhappy and hurt all over agsin by STBXH's words and I just want all of this to be over with. I want to be able to move on with my life without having to fear when the next shoe is going to drop. There seems to be a whole freaking closet of shoes up there somewhere, just waiting to clobber me. When will the next one drop down, and what will it be?

I'm just feeling so exhausted again. No energy, no ambition, just a whole lot of ambivalence about everything. I just don't care anymore. I keep fighting. Crates I know I have to, but my heart's just not in it.