A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

Cheesyt, nope, W anchored herself down and the winds didn't sweep her away! On the "girl" stuff I do get worried I won't know how to help my D with some things. I've no doubt I can figure them out, but I'd prefer to be prepared. So different being a girl than a guy!

The rewriting of things and the convenient forgetting of stuff seems to be a staple of our WWs. If it doesn't fit their story then drop it or make it fit. At this point we really shouldn't pay too much attention to it I guess.

Rich, I'm really seeing that convincing my W her perception is skewed is very much a lost cause. You're right that nothing I say can change her views. At this point it seems like this is about minimizing the damage to my D and myself. If the W is going to change her mind, it seems like it will not be because of something I say. That realization is both frustrating and comforting at the same time. Almost feels like a burden has been lifted off me.

One of the best things to come out of all of this though is my booming R with my D. I think we both make each other so much happier now. My ability to communicate with her is leaps and bounds above where it was before. Seeing how happy my D is every day gives me hope that all will be good in the future.

Going on 5 months of in house S now. It [censored] more than just about anything I can imagine. A handful of us on here are going through it and I find myself hoping it's helping to make us stronger people in the end. I think it is, but I guess we have to wait and see.

Journaling...

Getting more focus on work recently. I've got a project right now that I know will make my company so much better so it's helping me channel some of my energy and aggression constructively. It's good to have some focus on work again, just to get some balance.

Took 2 hrs off work today to do lunch with my D at her school. Had an awesome time and we got to joke around a lot and laugh. D got new rubber bands on her braces yesterday and chose the two colors of my college. Got to love my little football fans taste in colors! Made me very happy.

Got out of work a little late so no gym. Got home, did family time on the couch for dinner then D and I played some iPad together while W did her iPhone. W and I read on the couch while D did her 20 mins of reading then we all joked around for 15 minutes before bed.

W asked for one thing from me around our investment accounts. Gave it to her earlier today. My Ls are working up my docs and I meet with them to review in 2 weeks. Keeping them in the loop on all of Ws requests. We will see if W provides the agreements to me this week,as I was supposed to get them last week. I don't think she's stalling. I think she wants them done asap.

Doesn't really bother me as much as it had in the past. I think I'm at a point where I feel indifference to the outcome of my W and I. It's my D and custody where my focus currently lies. I can work to control that outcome. My W will need to make her own decisions about her and I. I'll not allow myself to be toyed with by her anymore. If she wants in then she can work on it. Not holding my breath that happens though.

A lot of good posts recently talking about not wasting your time with people who don't want you for who you are. There is always someone out there who does want you for who you are. I see my W now fits the former. I won't settle for anything but the latter.