Vey detached, no longer anxious, in limbo

[Phoebe]

Today was a frantic legal nightmare type of day, and therefore thoroughly awful.

I got to read STBXH's legal affidavit and it is full of angry garbage spewing, but all laid out in an organized and notarized legal document. It made me feel sick and hurt and angry and a whole spectrum of other unpleasant things just reading it. WH painting himself as a victim, that I insisted on buying our farm when he didn't want to, that all the money we have was his, that I've been living off his work efforts all these years, that we argued about it, that he warned me he wanted a divorce, but decided to give me a second chance. WTF!!! If I had any idea he wanted out would I possibly have been so broadsided by him abandoning me? Just complete horrible nonsense. Revisionist history in full swing, with lies and mis-statements of what happened. Stating that my efforts to improve the property were basically of no value whatsoever. All the worst of the earliest spew when he first left, but now delivered by the court system.

My affidavit was truthful. His is just personal.

WH claims (through his local L), that his non-local L told him he should move the money out of my hands because that L was worried that I would move it!!! Me??? I haven't hidden anything throughout this a whole disaster. Not one thing, nor have I gone on any trips, made stupid purchases, NOTHING, and yet he implies that I am the untrustworthy one? Supposedly the money is still intact, just now safely out of my sphere of influence.

I had to quickly get myself back under control and do a bunch of typing to formulate my response affidavit. I could barely even think straight. Still can't, actually, but with l-friend's help I managed to pull a few pages together. I had to take Xanax to even start to calm down, and I haven't taken any in weeks.

This is rapidly devolving in a most ugly fashion. WH is angry because I didn't lie down and roll over in submission when he launched his divorce bomb.

Anyway, it's been a thoroughly painful awful day, and I'm barely hanging in there. I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed, and then when I finally got some critter time in and some time outside on this gorgeous day, and was feeling slightly better, I came inside in time to get a call from my L informing me of all the new, unpleasant, developments, and letting me know he was going to forward WH's documents to me. It all went downhill rapidly from there.

Thank you so much, V, for your support. I feel like I'm in freefall again and I feel sick about all of this. I used to think that STBXH was the kindest person I had ever known. So much for that.