Well I'm well on recovery road. I got a bit upset today as my kids kept talking about OW and their dad. Is daddy going to marry her? Are we going to have a step- brother? Ect...
It was hard not to be nasty about their dad and OW, and at times I tried to explain why they can't get married (because I'm still married to him)! It also hurts when they say that they like her, that she has left some clothes at H's house or that he is always on the phone with her.
I'm hurt because he is showing her a lot more of attention than he ever did with me. I remember Job telling me that a leopard doesn't change his spots, but what if he has and she is the love of his life!
The good thing is I didn't dwell too much on it and carried on with my evening. I went on a date, but even if it was nice. There wasn't any sparks for that person. The good thing for me is that I didn't compare him to H, I went with no expectation but he wasn't for me. The other big thing I noticed was that I don't need a man, not sure yet if I'm in the stage of wanting one.
One thing for sure, I can honestly say that I have reached the point where I don't want to save my marriage, no matter what, I know that every time someone will talk about H and OW, it will always hurt me. I have to accept that unfortunately it will always hurt/ leave a sour taste because of how my marriage ended! I only wish H had done the right thing, and wouldn't have sought his happiness to the expense of my hurt.
I'm a good, kind, caring person. The real me is coming out, only wish at times H would have seen this before he changed the course of my life by his actions!
I do keep in faith that God has it all planed for me.
