Yes, I remember the situation over the summer. But I did not know if it was just about the custody, as she was leaving the town, or it was a first step of divorce proceedings.
If she does not bring it up I would not bring it up either but I guess you do need to be prepared for the court. Better be safe than sorry. If you are worried about her reaction to you consulting the lawyer - does she need to know? I know it's difficult, I also always think how my h would react to what I'm about to do, but what can you do? She filed, doesn't talk about it now, so you just need to work with the info you have.
I think it is important that you consult the lawyer. If she ever discusses this with you then you can explain how you feel about it.
Regarding asking her if it's really what she wants. I would not ask, because my experience with h is that when I ask something directly it makes him very uncomfortable. I'm guessing because he does not really have the answer, he does not really know what he really wants. But if you want to avoid that she thinks it's something you want, you can always tell her (when you find a good opportunity, if not before 4th Nov maybe on the day when you meet her in the court) that you are only doing it because that's what she wanted (or something similar but the way that she does not need to answer but she gets the message that it's not what you want).
And you are right, don't think about whether she will come to see kids during the weekend or not. You worrying about it won't help anything. I know it's easier said than done but at least try...
